Sunday, April 28, 2013

trying to ditch the negativity

This past week was full of ups and downs.  It started out great, but by mid week I had turned in to a cranky bitch because of my own stupid insecurities.  Thankfully this weekend I was able to get out of my own way and enjoy it.

Let's recap, shall we?

Monday was incredible.  #BostonStrongMilford was a complete success.  My friend Lindsey and I were so impressed by the number of people who came down to run/walk/cheer for Boston.  It was so much fun and I can't thank everyone enough.

If you're interested, here's a video that was on the website Milford Patch.

Also, here's an article that was in the local paper.  I guess it was the headline on the front page, but I haven't seen the actual paper yet.  Major apologies to PavementRunner, not sure why they thought you were a girl.

Oh, and pictures of course...

my American pug

Tuesday I was still riding a high from the night before.  I went for a 3 mile run in the morning and did a 3 mile hill workout in the afternoon.  I felt strong and confident.

Wednesday night I fell in to a funk while trying to find something to wear to dinner.  These fun little thoughts like to get in to my head that tell me I don't look good enough/I'm fat/nothing fits right and it becomes all I can focus on.  I've been fighting this battle with my mind and my body for over half my life and I can't seem to shake it completely.  I know it's ridiculous, and it doesn't get me anywhere but in a bad mood.  I have to keep working and keep fighting to turn my negative thoughts in to positive ones.

Thursday my plan was to run 10 miles.  I was looking forward to getting out and clearing my head.  Plus the weather was beautiful, so I was excited about spending some time outside. That morning I realized I was out of what I usually eat before a long run. So, I decided to go with an old standby, even though it hadn't been agreeing with me lately.  I had hoped it would be ok.  I was wrong.  So wrong.  It was awful.  I had no energy and felt like I could puke at any moment.  I wanted to curl up in to a ball on the pavement and cry.  The last couple of miles ended in a walk/run/please make it home haze.  I felt defeated.  I was angry and frustrated.

That afternoon I watched this interview with Lauren Fleshman.  It's a great interview.  I have to understand that everyone has bad days, and in the end they make you stronger.  Accepting your body and treating it well is so important and something I have to remind myself every day.    

I also saw this tweet Lauren posted, "The only guaranteed human freedom is out ability to choose the attitude we bring to any situation."  Girl crush?  Quite possibly.  It's funny how when you're not looking, sometimes you stumble upon exactly what you need.

Friday I listened to my body and my mind and gave myself a day off.  I was still feeling kind of off, so I crawled in to bed early and tried to get some sleep.

Saturday morning I decided to head up to the track for some speed work.  I ran 2 miles to warm up, did 8x400 and ran a mile to cool down. I guess rest was what I needed because I felt great. I'm really enjoying track workouts and am happy I finally got the confidence to try it out.  

The rest of the day was spent enjoying the sunshine with some drinks on the deck.

Bloody Saturday :)

This morning a couple of my friends who are training for the same half marathon next month (Boston's Run to Remember), where going for their 10 mile run, so I decided to join them to try to redeem myself.  It was everything I hoped for.  It was such a beautiful day for a run, and I had the best time running with friends.  I usually do my long runs during the week by myself, so it was a very welcomed change.

Ok, so this week has taught me a few things.  
1.  a bad run is not the end of the world.
2.  I need to stop being so hard on myself
3.  sometimes I just have to chill the F out.  

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