Living in the present has been a difficult concept for me. In the past, I always needed to be at the next step in my life. I needed more. I was so focused on where I thought I wanted to be that I couldn’t be happy with where I was. Turns out, the grass is not always greener on the other side.
|This grass is pretty green though.|
Now I try to focus on what’s actually in front of me. I try not to think about what could maybe someday happen in the future if this and that go exactly as planned. Some people are probably capable of going through life that way, but I’ve learned from experience that I am not.
Focusing on my own needs and wants has also been quite the challenge. I tend to try to please others and make sure they’re content before I consider myself. Of course, it’s good to think of others. It’s not so good when you do so because you feel as though your own feelings don’t matter as much. Yeah, that kind of sucks. I’m also working on that.
This is why running means so much to me. Running is something that I do for me. No one else. When I lace up my sneakers and head out the door it’s because I want to. It’s not because I have to. It’s not for someone else’s benefit. No one else will be affected if I do or don’t go for a run that day. Well, maybe that’s not entirely true. If I don’t run for a couple of days, I may acquire quite the attitude without warning. Sorry about that. But for the most part it’s entirely for me.
So far, this is what I have ran this week:
Tuesday: 4.5 miles with 2 friends, 3 kids (not my own), and a dog + 1.5 miles on my own. Pushing a stroller full of children is quite the challenge.
Wednesday: unplanned 35 min easy run with a friend
Thursday: 8 miles on my own
It’s been a great week so far. After today’s run I finally feel like I’m making some progress. My miles ranged from 8:13 to 8:38 and I’m happy with that.
9 days away from my first 10k.